THINGS WE HAVE LEARNED
...About Bipolar Family Suppot
Living Successfully With Bipolar Depression (Some Answers & Guidelines)
Join a support group
Find a support group in your area. It will provide sanity, an escape, useful
tips and a lot of support. Thus the name. We also recommend CODA or Al-Anon.
Debra began attending Al-Anon, due to a lack of support groups for non-bipolar's.
Not surprising, she had found several people who were dealing with the same
issues and the group was thus able to fill a void until she could start her own
support group for non-Bipolar and their partners.
File for disability as soon as possible
Many Bipolars are unable to work or can barely continue to work for very long,
thus putting a tremendous stress on any relationship. Go to your nearest Social
Security Office and get the packet of forms for Disability. This is a long,
frustrating process and may end up requiring help from a number of people.
Finding the right Therapist / Doctor may take some time
Choosing a therapist and/or doctor is one of the most important things you will do.
This process must involve both the bipolar and the spouse, or partner or family member.
If both of you don't like or have confidence in the therapist, it will make the
therapy process almost impossible. You are looking for a team member here; someone
with whom you can easily talk, who is committed to your treatment, and with whom you
can spend several years. It is not uncommon to have both a doctor to prescribe
medications and a separate therapist. We "interviewed" several therapists and doctors
before finding the right one for us. Unfortunately, once we found someone to help,
someone who fit well with us, he had a heart attack and we had to begin the
"interview" process again.
Protect your credit
Now, if you are a multimillionaire this will not apply for you. Make sure that
the bipolar in your life IS NOT ON ANY OF YOUR ACCOUNTS - credit cards, checking,
savings, etc. You can have one joint account. We are reminded of the story of a
gentleman who went out, in a manic moment, and purchased 13 pink Cadillacs. It is
not uncommon for couples to find themselves thousands of dollars in debt as a result
of uncontrolled spending during a manic episode. This is not good. By limiting the
access to any account (credit cards, checking, savings) you limit the possible
occurrence and impact of uncontrolled spending while also protecting your credit.
Obtain a Medical Power of Attorney
A Medical Power of Attorney (POA) is important to have, even if you are married.
If it becomes necessary to commit the bipolar in your life to a hospital, this
document will allow you to remain in control of the process, the treatment and any
medication decisions that must be made. Powers of Attorney vary by state and copies
can be found on the Internet. We recommend using your State's web sites for a FREE
copy of the necessary form and the regulations associated with the POA.
Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!
Good communication is the key to any successful relationship and is absolutely
critical when a bipolar is involved. Learn how to ask questions, explain, encourage
and defuse any situation. Communication will lead to Mindfulness. Good communication
allows you and the bipolar to discuss what is happening when situations arise, they
are triggered. Good communication enables you to discover the cause(s) of situation(s)
and how they were triggered. Good communication also allows you to discover which
situations to avoid, or at least how to diminish their impact in the future.
Learn to meditate
Through the practice of meditation you develop the ability to quiet your mind
and create space between thoughts. Meditation, the quieting of the mind, is a process
and requires practice. There are many ways to practice meditation. There is no
"right way" to meditate, there is just the way that "works" for you. One form of
meditation is called "focused breathing," where you pay acute attention to your
breathing; paying attention to your breath coming in and going out of your lungs.
Counting your breath coming in and going out - "one" on an inhale, "two" on an exhale,
"three" on an inhale, "four" on an exhale. Using this counting system helps to quiet
the mind and train it to be focused. Another form of meditation is called "single
point meditation." With single point meditation you look into a candle light,
or with your eyes closed visualize a white board. Other forms of mediation are
chanting, Indian drumming, and "praying" using a single word or phrase repeated over
and over. If you ask for the way that is right for you, you will be lead to it. That
is why there are so many teachers of the process of meditation. Wayne Dwyer has an
excellent tape on meditation, and leads you through it comfortably.
Be open to, and willing to change
The essence of insanity is 'doing the same thing over and over, while expecting
different results'. If the medication isn't working, the therapist isn't progressing,
or the relationship is struggling - make changes!
Connect with God
All religions clearly state that through a relationship with God, you will find
peace, hope, balance and healing. You need someone who is always on your side -
God is not a bad choice. In living in the Bipolar World your emotional and spiritual
health can take a beating. Therapy helps and is an important and critical component
of your personal well-being, but it cannot provide immediate comfort and solitude -
for this you need God, Meditation and healing energy.
Read
Friends and Family
Bipolar Survival Guide!
Contact us for bipolar information
The Meehl Foundation, Inc.
P.O. Box 2089
Brazoria, TX 77422
Recommended Reading:
Friends and Family
Bipolar Survival Guide
Table of Contents
Click for Tele-Therapy
Debra Meehl, DD, MSW
Pastoral Counselor
DBT Therapist & Skills Trainer
Board Certified Hypnotist
President, Meehl Foundation
